Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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