U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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