Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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