As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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