yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My underwear smells like fireworks.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
