All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
