member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
