i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
