Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
