Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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