That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
