I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
