whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
