can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
