if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
