You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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