Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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