She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
