Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
