Define "chronic" masturbator.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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