i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Bring me that man meat
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
