with your own penis?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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