All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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