Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
