You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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