Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
