If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
