She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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