Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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