nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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