i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize