i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
