tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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