Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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