wat bout pragnant strippers??
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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