"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
