got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you win again, gameday.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
