Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
