Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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