3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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