stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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