Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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