look no pants
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
