As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
