so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I wear drunk well.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
