We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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