I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
