Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
