I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
