dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
