I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Vodka?
Forever.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
