love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
