is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
