let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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