I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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