I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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